From Taco to Burger. From Man to Guy. There are great names in the Big Ten.
With conference play starting Saturday, you’re going to hear a lot of them during the next 10 weeks. To get you ready, here is the 2016 Big Ten All-Name team:
John O’Korn, Michigan
Let’s start off this team with a nice healthy serving of O’Korn. We know someone who’d wash it down with milk.
Ryker Fyfe, Nebraska
22 percent of the letters in his name are Ys. That’s gotta lead the league.
Tre Nation, Illinois
When Illinois draws up a play for him, they’re worried about the direction of their Nation.
Carlton Djam, Minnesota
Minnesota should play the Space Jam theme song whenever he scores a touchdown. Or the Gophers should just play it whenever, really.
Dare Ogunbowale, Wisconsin
Try to tackle this guy, I dare you.
J-Shun Harris II, Indiana
J-Shun is unfortunately out for the season, but that doesn’t disqualify him from this team.
Reggie Love, Wisconsin
Reggie Love could have an album hit the top 10 of the Billboard R&B charts based solely off being named Reggie Love.
Man Berg, Illinois
His given name is Peter and he goes by Man. It’s a great choice.
Eddie McDoom, Michigan
A name that strikes fear in opposing secondaries and probably will eventually strike fear in diners at McDonald’s.
Jazz Peavy, Wisconsin
Jazz Peavy should be heavily featured playing the saxophone on Reggie Love’s R&B album.
Jake Butt, Michigan
This was the easiest pick in the conference. It helps that Butt is so self-aware.
Guy Ferrelli, Ohio State
Ready for OSU to roll out a show called “Diners, Drive-ins and Touchdown Drives.”
Camaron Cheeseman, Michigan
Always good to have some dairy in the trenches.
Marcus Applefield, Rutgers
And some fruit. A balanced diet is key!
Wendy Laurent, Penn State
Mr. Laurent might have the most unique first name in Big Ten football. And assuming he’s always had his size (6 feet 2, 297 pounds) it’s doubtful he ever got picked on for it.
Bearooz Yacoobi, Purdue
Double o’s make any name more fun to say. Double-double o’s make any name great to say.
Eddy Fish, Illinois
Remember what we were saying about a balanced diet?
Chunky Clements, Illinois
Find me a better name for a defensive lineman than Chunky. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
Gimel President, Illinois
His oval office is shaped like a football.
Taco Charlton, Michigan
Taco Bell giveaway idea: One sack of tacos to a lucky fan every time Taco gets a sack.
Freedom Akinmoladun, Nebraska
He had 7.5 tackles for loss last year. Not much freedom for opposing backfields.
Isaiahh Loudermilk, Wisconsin
The perfect name for a Wisconsin player. Would love to see him matched up against Cheeseman.
Justice Williams, Illinois
I, for one, would not like to run into a linebacker named Justice.
Joe Burger, Ohio State
Such a great name is a rare find.
Tuf Borland, Ohio State
Putting Borland on this list was far from a Tuf choice.
Blake Cashman, Minnesota
This guy is money.
Will Likely, Maryland
When you think of the best names in the Big Ten, Will Likely will likely cross your mind.
Dicaprio Bootle, Nebraska
Even after he leaves Nebraska, his Husker heart will go on.
Koa Farmer, Penn State
This is an incredibly appropriate name for someone playing in the middle of Pennsylvania.
Alonzo Mayo, Northwestern
A shame he can’t be on the same sideline as Burger.
Drew Luckenbaugh, Northwestern
Luckenbaugh can pin you inside the 5 with luck-and-bounce.
Logan Justus, Indiana
Whenever the holder puts the ball down, Justus is served.
Jabrill Peppers, Michigan
Always good to spice up special teams.
Lovie Smith, Illinois
What’s not to Lovie about this first-year Big Ten coach’s name?